This is going to be a long post, but I really hope that anyone thinking about taking this medication who is scared to start will read it the whole way through. I am a therapist, and I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and some OCD tendencies, like listing, checking, and intense intrusive thoughts about harm, health, and safety. I have had anxiety since as early as I can remember but it wasn’t until my 20s that it really started to interfere with my life. Even as a therapist I had stigma about taking meds, and fears that it would dull my personality, or dull my creativity, or dull the positive emotions I feel. I was scared it would fundamentally change me and my sensitivities to life, which can be a source of pain but also a source of joy. I started on 10mg, and had a hard time for a month, I experienced insomnia, intense moments of anxiety, fogginess, fatigue, and mild dizziness. Then I had a few great weeks on 10mg. I decided to up the dose to 20mg, and I actually experienced a hard time for about 5 weeks while I adjusted. I kept wanting to throw in the towel and go back to 10mg but something kept me waiting to see if things would feel better. During the five weeks adjusting to 20mg I experienced fogginess, fatigue, dizziness, mild disorientation, and anxiety. I really just didn’t feel like myself and it was scary and really hard. After 5 weeks everything changed. I now feel like I have been given a huge gift, kind of like I have been given a version of my life I didn’t know I could have. I can lay on the couch and feel safe in my body and safe in my mind instead of worrying what catastrophe could be lurking around the corner. I can go to sleep at night excited to sleep instead of fearing it will be an insomnia night. I can turn off the stove and check that it is off once instead of keeping going back to check over and over while my body gets all tight with anxiety. I can hug my people and animals I love without immediately feeling a pang of anticipatory grief that one day I will lose them. I can lay on my deck and look at the sky and trees and feel the breeze on my face and feel grateful for my life, instead of immediately looking for a problem or thinking about a worst case scenario situation that could rob me of my happiness and contentment. I am someone who is deeply committed to doing my own inner work and I have worked for years and years on my head. I have journaled, I have become a therapist, I have been in therapy for years, I have learned to meditate, I have done anxiety workbooks, read self help books, learned about the mind body connection, learned how to really take care of myself from resting, to exercising, to learning yoga etc, taken courses on anxiety, and the list could go on and on. I didn’t want that to stop on Prozac, and that was one my fears about taking this medication. I did not want to completely lose the highs and lows of life, I wanted to keep doing my inner work, but I also did not want to have to work so hard just to function sometimes. I can say now that Prozac does not diminish my inner work at all, instead it facilitates it. I still see my habitual response to a peaceful moment is to look for a problem, but now I have some distance on that pattern and I can see it without immediately getting lost in fear thoughts. The distance allows me to work with fear thoughts rather than just getting hooked. This medication allows me to notice when I am happy and safe, and trust those moments and enjoy them, without fear crashing in and ruining it. I have spent so much of my life thinking about darkness, pain, and fear. This medication has allowed me to notice peace, happiness, and contentment, and connect to the love in my life without the fear of loss ruining a moment. I still feel all the subtle changes in moods and emotions that I always did, but when it is around something irrational I can see what is happening in my mind and work with it, rather than getting swallRead More Read Less