This article is from the WebMD Feature Archive
6 Ways to Support a Spouse With Diabetes
Experts and people who've been there offer tips on how to support a partner with diabetes -- without nagging.
Reviewed by
John A. Seibel, MD
When Gerri Weiss's husband, Michael, learned 22 years ago that he had type 1 diabetes, she faced what she calls one of the toughest challenge of her life: how to support her husband through a disease that often overwhelmed both of them.
With 21 million Americans now diagnosed with diabetes, Weiss has hardly been alone in her struggle. What are the best ways to support a spouse with diabetes?
Best and Worst Foods for Diabetes
You're ready to head off to the grocery store and looking for your list. If you've got diabetes, though, you need more than a traditional shopping list. You need a guide that will let you quickly determine whether a food is a good choice or a bad one. Making the best choices will help you maintain good health and control your blood sugar levels, keeping them as close to normal as possible. WebMD has compiled a list of best and worst food choices for diabetes that you can use either in the super market...
Read the Best and Worst Foods for Diabetes article > >
First, recognize that diabetes permeates daily life.
''When Mike was diagnosed, he kept thinking this disease had just happened to him, when, in fact, it had happened to our whole family,'' Weiss says.
The couple had two young children. ''All of a sudden, we had to eat meals at a certain time, and we had a busy life," Weiss says. "And we had to be aware that Daddy had mood swings sometimes.''
It's also frightening to think of a loved one developing diabetes-related complications from poorly controlled blood sugar, such as blindness, amputation, and kidney failure. When a partner with diabetes doesn't seem serious about managing the disease, a spouse may feel frustrated, even panicked.
But browbeating or criticizing usually backfires, says Weiss, who is director of organizational affairs at the University of Pittsburg Diabetes Institute. Her husband, Michael Weiss, chairs the American Diabetes Association's national board of directors.
Instead, as Weiss learned, there are better ways to create a healthy partnership. She and other experts offered WebMD these pointers for those trying to support a spouse with diabetes.
Diabetes Support Tip No. 1: Offer Help, but Don't Be the Diabetes Police
At first, when Weiss caught her husband sneaking junk food, she reminded him that it was off-limits. She asked him constantly about his blood sugar levels. ''It took some time before I realized that diabetes had not just changed our lifestyle, it had changed me,'' Weiss says. ''I became a nagging spouse.''
While it's tempting to hover, let your spouse decide what kind of help is welcome, Weiss says. Some people with diabetes will allow spouses ''nagging rights.'' Others won't.
It's also unrealistic to expect a spouse with diabetes to stay on top of the disease at all times. Says Weiss: ''For Mike, it's 24-7. He can't take a break from this disease -- ever. And I can.''
To cope, ''I think it's critical to talk with your spouse about what kind of diabetes support he or she needs from you -- and what you need from your spouse that will help you live with diabetes,'' Weiss says.
That may mean compromise. For example, the Weisses struggled over Michael's 6-10 daily blood glucose checks. She wanted to know the exact numbers. He resented the intrusion.
The couple finally struck a balance. ''I needed to know that he was OK. I was allowed to ask that, but I wasn't allowed to ask what his numbers were,'' she says. When to reveal a reading? His choice alone.
Martha Funnell, MS, RN, CDE, a clinical nurse specialist at the Michigan Diabetes and Research Training Center, agrees with the approach. ''As much as you love your spouse, ultimately, diabetes belongs to them.''
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Is This Normal?
Get the Facts Fast!Answer:
Your level is currently NormalHigh (hyperglycemia).Low (hypoglycemia). |
If the level is below 70 and you are experiencing symptoms such as shaking, sweating or difficulty thinking, you will need to raise the number immediately. A quick solution is to eat a few pieces of hard candy or 1 tablespoon of sugar or honey. Recheck your numbers again in 15 minutes to see if the number has gone up. If not, repeat the steps above or call your doctor.
People who experience hypoglycemia several times in a week should call their health care provider. It's important to monitor your levels each day so you can make sure your numbers are within the range. If you are pregnant always consult with your health care provider.
If the level is below 70 and you are experiencing symptoms such as shaking, sweating or difficulty thinking, you will need to raise the number immediately. A quick solution is to eat a few pieces of hard candy or 1 tablespoon of sugar or honey. Recheck your numbers again in 15 minutes to see if the number has gone up. If not, repeat the steps above or call your doctor.
People who experience hypoglycemia several times in a week should call their health care provider. It's important to monitor your levels each day so you can make sure your numbers are within the range. If you are pregnant always consult with your health care provider.
Your blood sugar level is slightly high. You should call your health care provider and ask if laboratory tests to check for diabetes are needed. If you are pregnant always consult with your health care provider.
Congratulations on taking steps to manage your health.
However, it's important to continue to track your numbers so that you can make lifestyle changes if needed. If you are pregnant always consult with your physician.
Your level is currently normal. However, if you are concerned about diabetes speak with your physician. There may be other risk factors that increase your risk for diabetes.
Your level is high if this reading was taken before eating. Aim for 70-130 before meals and less than 180 two hours after meals.
Even if your number is high, it's not too late for you to take control of your health and lower your blood sugar.
One of the first steps is to monitor your levels each day. If you are pregnant always consult with your physician.
Your blood sugar level may be high, depending on when you last ate. If you have not eaten for at least 8 hours, your blood sugar should be less than 100. If you've eaten within the last 2 hours, your blood sugar should be less than 140. You should call your health care provider and ask if you need laboratory tests to check for diabetes. If you are pregnant always consult with your health care provider.
Blood sugars consistently above 180 warrant prompt medical attention.
Even if your number is high, it's not too late for you to take control of your health and lower your blood sugar.
One of the first steps is to monitor your levels each day. If you are pregnant always consult with your physician.
Your blood sugar level is high. You should call your health care provider and ask if laboratory tests to check for diabetes are needed. If you are pregnant always consult with your health care provider.
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